There's not much that's worse than Bon Jovi, so I apologise for that hideous blog title.
I was going to write this post many weeks ago when I was having an absolutely appalling day and a difficult time all round. However, I realised it would be all negative and that those feelings would eventually subside. Of course I was right and am now in a position where I can balance out the negatives with some cheery stuff too. So, here it is, a realistic account of my time in Nepal so far.
At the start I was having a difficult time, there's no other way to say it. I found it really quite hard to adapt to life in Nepal and it was so much different to what I was expecting. With Tajikistan I found it impossible to have expectations as I had no idea about the country. I therefore had no problems with expectations not being met. Nepal, however, is different. I had an image in my mind of how life would be and what the country was like and it hasn't quite matched that. That doesn't mean I didn't like it, it's just not what I expected.
It took quite a few weeks to feel 'comfortable' in Nepal. I can't really put my finger on what it is about the country, but I didn't instantly feel settled there. Although I have been told time and time again that the people are wonderful and hospitable, I didn't instantly feel this. I found a lot of people I met to be quite rude, unhelpful and I didn't always feel welcome. It was also incredibly frustrating getting used to way things work (or don't work) in this country. Each decision takes a very long time, bureaucracy is extreme and there never seems to be a straight answer for anything.
Another thing that got to me was the extreme hypocrisy in Nepal. I've been told that Nepal stands for Never Ending Peace And Love, but I've seen things that completely contradict that. I won't go too much into it because it's a sensitive topic, but there is a caste system in Nepal that discriminates against a vast number of people. This sometimes goes as far as one caste not even accepting water from the lowest caste because they are 'untouchable'. Speaking of untouchable, there are 'pollution' rules that dictate that during menstruation, women must sleep outside, use another water source and not touch men. I don't really see the love there. Fortunately, the majority of the people I've met do not follow these practices, or choose a 'watered down' version and I've not seen too much caste discrimination, although it is there. It absolutely broke my heart during training when I found out one of my volunteers was worried about being discriminated against in the host home because of their caste. And there I was, worried about the toilets.
When I first arrived into the community I did have an overwhelming moment of 'what have I done?'. I think being all alone for the first time in my bare cement room, thousands of miles away from home and with a whole group relying on me, it all hit home. I did almost have a cry but then I was saved by some well timed chiya.
HOWEVER
The people in the community I live in seem much kinder than those in Kathmandu and I lived with a family that are very sweet and caring. What I had previously taken as rudeness is just the Nepali way, as they are quite reserved on the whole. The Nepali volunteers I work with are very helpful and are a great support to the UK volunteers. At times I still get very annoyed with the overly complicated paperwork and methods of doing things, but as ex-local government staff I'm kind of used to it. Maybe it was the change in location or maybe I was just in a different mindset when I first arrived, but things are definitely easier.
Every morning I wake up and go up to the rooftop for my morning chiya (tea). I look out over the lush greenery and out to the Himalayas and wonder what there ever was to be unhappy about. Nepal is a truly beautiful country and I'm so glad to be here (although it has ruined scenery for me forever). I love living in a town that has so little traffic that you can walk freely through the dusty streets. Even more than that I love being able to see goats, chickens and even the stinky bisey (buffaloes) every day. Walking over to the office and having chicks at your feet (the feathered kind) is one of my favourite things. I don't have to listen to the sounds of traffic, sirens, dogs barking or people shouting anymore, just the sounds of crickets, birds and farm animals. Even the sounds of bugs scuttling around at night on my bedroom floor aren't that bad anymore.
There is such a rich and diverse culture that it's sometimes hard to take it in, even for the Nepali volunteers. There are over 100 languages spoken in Nepal and the main religions are Hinduism and Buddhism although there are also Christians, Muslims and other smaller groups. Some of the traditions (though I don't agree with all of them) are hundreds of years old and still going strong today. Sometimes I feel like we're in a bit of a time warp as the communities we're in are completely sustainable without a single influence from the outside world. For example, one of the host homes is completely self sufficient. Whatever they grow, they eat. If they don't grow it, they don't eat it. This is the same for much of rural Nepal and it does make me think about my own lifestyle. I'm not about to go and live in a hippy commune, but I'll definitely be attempting to grow some of my own veggies and making a conscious effort to be more sustainable.
We're almost at the point of our Mid Phase Review (MPR) which means that after that I only have five weeks left in community and then a final week up in Kathmandu. It is at this point of the programme where time will really start to fly. I know that the time between my own MPR and returning home seemed like it was only a week as opposed to six. In this time so much work will be done. The volunteers have got some excellent Community Action Days (CADs) planned including footcare, sanitary pad making, HIV/AIDs awareness workshops, uterine prolapse sessions, beekeeping training and workshops on healthy livestock. In addition to this the schools will finally be open so they can start doing their lessons in sexual and reproductive health. It's been very frustrating for them to have to wait until half way through the programme to start these but at least they can finally get stuck into that and in the meantime they've delivered some great CADs and active citizenship days.
As for me, I'm finding it challenging but also enjoyable to be a Team Leader. I've got to know the volunteers really well and think they're a really good group. They've got great skills between them and have faced up to their challenges really well. I'm looking forward to our MPR for some time out of the community and away from work. It's going to be Nepali New Year so I'm excited to see in the year 2072 with this bunch of crazy kids.
My own experience is somewhat different to theirs because I am not directly involved in a set project. I enjoy seeing the work they do and am happy to support with any help they need, although if that means talking to a Nepali beekeeping expert, I'm kind of at a loss. I've found that I've developed in quite a different way to last time. When I came back from Tajikistan I had a new found confidence and had finally gotten over issues of public speaking and leading teams. Before that, there is no way I'd be in the position I'm currently in. This time around I've grown even more as a person, cheesy as that sounds. Supporting the volunteers on an emotional level has evoked skills that I have never previously used as I'm not usually known for being a particularly good counsellor. That seems to have changed now (I hope so, anyway) and I've found a whole fountain of wisdom that I never knew I had. Maybe that's because I'm getting on a bit...
I've also had plenty of time to think about the future and what "I Want To Do", the big question. I still don't really know but I've recognised the skills that I have and the things that make me happy. Prior to this I would say I was incredibly confused about the future and what I "Would Be", another big question. Now, I'm in a place where I know what I'm good at and I know what I like. I've previously accepted jobs which have been an easy way out as doing what I actually want to do seemed like too much of a challenge. I'm feeling confident enough in myself now to go after what I want, and for me that is a huge victory.
Lizzie x
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